Monday, September 27, 2010
I had my first in-vitro attempt in the winter of 2004. The commitment to the procedure was relatively brief yet intense. I often had to be in New York City (an hour away) by 7:00 in the morning for lab work. I rarely went alone. Laura and Ryan each took a turn or two with me, waking before the sun and standing on a bitter cold train platform or trudging through a record Manhatten snowfall. They shared in the excitement of my swelling ovaries and the bitter diappointment when our first attempt failed. Their unspoken words held me up like a crutch and their optismism that this would work helped blaze the trail for future attempts.
Fast forward to September 9, 2005: I found out I was having girls. I was having sisters. I. WAS. HAVING. SISTERS. With fingers crossed, I hoped that they would share what I have with my sisters...clothes, shoes, make-up, memories...but mostly. this deep bond and commitment to each other. I was concerned though. At one of my monthly ultrasounds I, accompanied by my sisters watched as Baby A kicked Baby B. All of this went on, Ryan said, "Right in front of their mother." Five years later, we have seen plenty of fights, tended to some bite marks and bandaged a scratch or two. But we have also pushed the twin beds together so they can sleep "holding hand, please", worked out a fair system of princess and superhero playing that they can lay together. More interesting, they complement each other, they look for each other and they look out for each other. They give each other room and space to be who they want as individuals and look for ways to support their sister's interests. Annabel squeals if she finds a princess crown for Willa and Willa sashays when she plays goalie in Annabel's soccer games.
As children, we had a bench, made by our Poppy. My sisters and I played school bus on that bench, maybe even princess too. My girls share that bench today, now repainted and inscribed with the above quote from Shakesphere. They use it as a stage, as a goal post, as a place to eat pirate booty. This morning, though, they used it as a place to talk about the day ahead, the pending rain and their plans to play "wedding store where spiderman works."